Here is my final, didn't mean to get so personal. Good luck in future classes and careers :).
Heidi
Lynn Waldman
A
Personal Journey towards Health and Human Flourishing
Kaplan
University
Professor
John Aguilar
HW420-01
April
30, 2013
The
beloved Dalai Lama has stated that, “only the development of compassion and
understanding for others can bring us the tranquility and happiness we all seek”
(Cosmicquotes.com, 2012, par. 1). This is how we can flourish. It is extremely
important for health and wellness professionals to develop psychologically,
spiritually, ad physically in order to help ourselves and then our clients/patients.
To be a model for others and to guide others to the path of human flourishing
we must embark on the journey ourselves and gain direct personal experience. To
change the medicine we are practicing, we must change ourselves as well.
By transforming the inner and outer
areas of our own life through preparation and contemplative practice we see the
true value of integral health and thus out of love, devotion, and service we will
feel an un-quenching desire to help others to alleviate pointless worry and
suffering in order to find true health and happiness in their own lives
(Dacher, 2006).
Through
contemplative practices such as the subtle mind practice and loving-kindness
practice, we are able to calm our own minds, letting go of needless chatter, making
our minds still enough to truly pay attention to what our clients are
communicating to us. This can only be done with a truly calm and empathetic
mind and heart that is unbiased and non-judgmental, without time constraints or
our own intrusive thoughts (Dacher, 2006). This will allow us to center on the
person without comparing their path to our own or others but helping them to
develop their own particular route to health and happiness, “If [our] entire
being is listening, the listening itself is meditation. In this way, we
experience the truth of [our clients/patients life]. We experience it in our
mind and body. And from this we arrive at a comprehensive and empathetic
understanding of their presenting concern” (Dacher, 2006, p. 169). Through our
honest understanding and compassion our clients/patients feel deeply and truly
recognized and cared for (Dacher, 2006). I know personally that this can be
healing in itself. We cannot reach this type of relationship with those we are
trying to serve without developing our own psychological, spiritual, and
physical health and well-being. I know that to serve others with full ambition
I need to vigorously work on all three of these areas in my life to achieve my
goals.
When
I first looked at the assessment integral I was basically worried about letting
down my wall and letting people in, as it affects my interpersonal
relationships. After taking an even deeper look into my own self and life I
find that there is a much deeper meaning behind that block I put up and I need
a compete overhaul! I must develop a program of integral practice that I can
intentionally follow with determination and the first step is to be completely
honest with myself. Psychologically I need to banish thoughts of worthlessness,
loneliness, hopelessness, and helplessness. I have been conditioned throughout
my life to feel these feelings and it affects all other aspects of my life. My
conative line and the source and character of my motivation (Dacher, 2006), is
much worse than I had originally thought.
Through
quiet meditation I penetrated a wall quite involuntarily, and came to the
realization that I am motivated by survival needs, ego-centered and driven by
fear (Dacher, 2006). My fear of driving has hindered my life and my development
leading to poor interpersonal relationships, seclusion, and a dependent
relationship on my husband because of my reliance on him. I know it is a dependent
relationship because losing him would not only leave me feeling empty, with no
resources and without peace, but absolutely terrified to survive on my own
(Dacher 2006). The text is painfully accurate in saying, “dependent
relationships force us to see things about ourselves that we would prefer not
to see [and also] keeps us stuck and suffering rather than growing and
flourishing” (Dacher, 2006, p. 90).
This
psychological fear lowers my spiritual wellness score as well. Although I have
a very close relationship with God and pray daily, I feel inadequate and guilty
for not becoming the person I feel that God wants me to be. Due to constant
guilt, worry, and restless thoughts it is difficult to develop a calm-abiding
mind and to find inner peace. It is even harder to love myself and how can one
truly love another or make any progress in anything without first loving their
self? In relationship to my mind my physical health gains a low score as well.
My thoughts, feelings and emotions, feeling of inadequacy and anger at my
circumstances puts stress on my body leading to comfort foods, drinking,
overeating, headaches, smoking, apathy, complete lack of energy, insomnia and
even some extra pimples! I have lost my motivation to exercise while only two
weeks ago I was on the treadmill at least every other day. I am a complete
mess. This course has very unexpectedly taken me to a place of no return.
Hopefully a few steps backwards will lead to a giant leap forward! Time to make
some changes!
My
first step is to evaluate how certain areas of my life encourage suffering and
which areas can add to overall health. The next step is to target areas for, “future
growth and development” (Dacher, 2006, p.170). My physical goal is health
promotion, eating right, reducing stress, more exercise, and letting go of unhealthy
habits. Looking at the six principles of integral assessment, number three
tells me that I need to stop looking for immediate pleasure and start looking
at long term flourishing (Dacher, 2006). I might think that a bowl of chips, a
cold beer, and a cancer stick are alleviating my suffering but in my heart I
know this isn’t true and is only masking my suffering. True health and
flourishing comes from within, is self-cultivated and uninterrupted (Dacher,
2006). My goal is to stop with the short term relief and find healthier ways to
cope such as breathing exercises, yoga, and physical exercise.
Psychologically
my goal is to let go of past hurts, anger, and resentment and to learn to
forgive and forget. Studies have shown us that forgiveness benefits us emotionally
and physically and raises our hopes, our self-efficacy, and gives us a better
spiritual connection (Schlitz et al, 2005). I also hope to develop better coping
skills and mind training techniques.
Spiritually
I find my greatest potential for growth and development (Dacher, 2006). My goal
is to let go of needless fear and worry through meditation, prayer, and
spiritual practices. My fear of driving comes down to experiences from my
childhood which further reinforced an already existing fear of injury and
death. Through raising my consciousness I will get a closer and closer glimpse
of my spiritual body and come to the realization that my body truly is a
manifestation of spirit (Dacher, 2006). The text says that through overcoming
fear we also overcome feelings of, “insecurity, lack of control, isolation, and
separateness” (Dacher, 2006, p.86). These are the exact emotions I feel and
cling to everyday and that keep me from progressing along the path to integral
health and flourishing. My goal is to battle and overcome these demons and I
know it won’t be easy but as Hippocrates put it, “the art is long and life is
short, but we can begin and that is what makes all the difference” (Dacher,
2006, p.172).
To
foster physical health I have already made the choice to use the upcoming break
and the rest of my future to get back on track. Rather than reverting to old
habits for short term relief I will use breathing exercises taking a moment to
turn inward and relax to evaluate my emotions rather than reaching for the chips
or worse. I will also start doing some Yoga every day to strengthen my body. I
found that Yoga also helps a person to focus on breathing which alleviates stress
and anxiety (yogamovement.com, 2013).
To
foster growth in the psychological domain I will do my best to practice the
loving-kindness exercise whenever possible. The first step is to make a
conscious choice to love myself. I will show loving kindness to my closest
circle of loved ones and all of God’s creation, and with practice I believe I
can expand it even unto my enemies and learn to finally forgive.
Loving-kindness will be my strongest conqueror of the emotions that hinder my
progress such as, “anger, intolerance, jealously, pride, and greed” (Dacher,
2006, p.51). I will also use daily self-affirmations to replace negative
emotions with positive ones. Affirmations that will help me include telling
myself that I deserve love and I also deserve to be happy, I do have worth, I
can and will forgive, and I do have the ability to change myself
(more-selfesteem.com, 2011).
For
spiritual growth I will do my best to practice the subtle mind exercise daily
to stop being enslaved by thoughts of worry, doubt, and fear. Hopefully I can
learn to witness intruding thoughts rather than reacting to them and advance
towards the calm abiding mind and unity consciousness. I also found a
visualization meditation to let go of fear. The meditation involves natural
breathing and conscious identification of fears. During the visualization I
will picture the fear and its underlying cause. I will imagine it as a “dense
thick smoke” that I breathe out and as I do it disappears to the farthest
reaches of space never to come back to me again. On the in-breath I will take
in fearlessness and white light that encompasses my body and mind which in turn
will lead to feelings of calmness, peacefulness, and fearlessness
(dealingwithfear.org, n.d). I will practice this visualization technique daily
and believe it will be very helpful.
I
know that without commitment I will not succeed. I do not want to be stuck in
this same sinking ship six months from now and I have made the choice to pursue
this with the strongest of intentions and determination. Who could possibly
step back from all that we have learned?! I will set a date each month to
evaluate my progress. I understand that my progress requires continuous
monitoring and I will need to make changes to my personal integral practice
program as I change and evolve in every aspect (Dacher, 2006). I have personally
taken the integral vow to reach wholistic health for myself with the ultimate goal
of serving others and guiding them in their own journey to health and human
flourishing. To maintain my long term practices I will continue to review the
invaluable readings from this course, pray for guidance and perseverance, keep
my eyes open for a mentor, and take advantage of the other resources provided
to us. I will also continue to do my own research to learn more and do more for
others out of loving kindness.
References
Cosmicquotes.com.
(2012). Dalai Lama Quotes. Retrieved April
30, 2013 from: http://www.cosmicquotes.com/quotes/authors/d/dalai_lama/only-the-development-of-compassion.html
Dacher,
E. (2006). Integral Health: The Path to
Human Flourishing. Basic Health Publications Inc.
Dealingwithfear.org.
(n.d). Meditation to Overcome Fear. Retrieved
April 30, 2013 from: http://www.dealingwithfear.org/overcoming-fear.htm/
More-selfesteem.com.
(2011). How Can Affirmations Increase
Your Self-Esteem? Retrieved April 30, 2013 from: http://www.moreselfesteem.com/affirmations.htm#.UYAmJrXvuSo
Schlitz,
M., Amorok, T., Micozzi, R. (2005). Consciousness
& Healing: Integral Approaches to Mind-Body Medicine. Elsevier
Churchill Livingstone Publishing.
No comments:
Post a Comment